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Sacramento has dinosaurs, unicorns and ‘angry granny’ but no king

Thousands of insurrectionists gathered outside the state Capitol on Saturday, nonchalantly trampling the lawn in hocca shoes, even as Sacramento’s fall sunshine forced them to take off their protective down vests.

Accompanied by chants of “No King”, many chaotic protesters poured from the sidewalks into the streets, as if the roadside had no curbing power and made no sense in their anarchist hearts.

Clearly, the social order has been broken. Journalists want to know where it all ends. Will they ask passers-by to honk their horns next? Do they dare to make strong remarks?

The answer came quickly, and within minutes I discovered clear evidence of the American Lawyers’ anti-fascist underground. General Pam Bondi keeps warning us.

“Sacramento’s Angry Granny” had set up a stage and tested the microphone before bombarding the crowd with songs. These women are wearing matching aprons! They printed signs—signs with QR codes. If grandma who knows how to use QR codes isn’t dangerous, I don’t know who is.

Ellen Schwartz, 82, told me that the Canadian-founded organization was operating without a recognized leader—”a free-form international organization made up of a bunch of old grannies,” as she put it—and I wrote all about it to Kash Patel.

Within moments, they’d snatched Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews’ most famous duet: “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and dismembered it into “a super-cold fragile racist narcissistic president.”

Ellen Schwartz, 82, is a member of the Raging Grannies, a group that protested at a “No King” rally in Sacramento on Saturday.

(Anita Chhabria/Los Angeles Times)

Not to be outdone, two-year-old Rhea also showed up, first clinging to her mother and then waddling around on her own, as if the place belonged to her. This is a kid to watch.

Since Rhea can’t yet talk about her political beliefs, her parents let me in on why she’s here.

“I’m not sure we’ll still have a civilization that allows for long-term protests, so I hope she at least remembers that,” said her father, Nion, who asked that their last name not be used. Like many Americans, he was hesitant to attract the attention of authority figures.

Rhea’s mother Kara’s outlook is more promising.

“America is the people’s home, so for me, I want to continue to bring her here and let her know that she’s part of something bigger: peace and justice,” she said before walking away to see the dinosaurs.

Cara held her two-year-old daughter Rhea at the rally in Sacramento.

Cara held her two-year-old daughter Rhea at the rally in Sacramento.

(Anita Chhabria/Los Angeles Times)

Dinosaurs, yes. And tigers. And the rooster. And unicorns. Even a cow hugging a chipmunk, which I believe is illegal in much of the South now.

Yes, friends, the Portland Frogs have started something. The place is filled with non-human participants that resemble animals—dancing, stomping, and saying vitriolic things about President Trump.

At the same time, the smell of barbecue hits your nostrils. People, they’re eating hot dogs! They’re eating grilled onions! There are immigrants selling this stuff (and it’s delicious) everywhere.

I talked to a Tyrannosaurus rex and asked him why we entered the Late Cretaceous.

“If you don’t act soon, democracy will become extinct,” Jim Short told me in the lawsuit.

Two people wearing dinosaur costumes

Jim Short (left) and his wife Patti Short wear dinosaur costumes at the No Kings rally in Sacramento.

(Anita Chhabria/Los Angeles Times)

His wife, Patty, wore a matching suit, hers brown, his green. Aren’t they worried about being labeled anti-American for coming here, as House Speaker Mike Johnson and others have claimed?

“I’m not afraid,” Patty said. “Am I anti-fascist, or a hardened criminal, or what is the other?”

“Hamas?” Jim asked. “Or illegal immigrants?”

“I think people need more history,” Patty said.

I agree.

The day when millions of ordinary Americans can once again peacefully protect our democracy could be part of it.

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