This week is Thanksgiving in the United States, and many of us are gathering with family and friends to express gratitude for the positive things in our lives. The holidays can also be a challenging time for those who are away from family and dealing with the widespread loneliness of modern times.
Perhaps even worse than losing the company of others during the holidays is spending time with family members who hold different views and beliefs than your own. But the truth is, when we get together with a large, diverse group of people at an event, we’re bound to find a variety of perspectives and personalities in the room.
People are complex and messy, and dealing with them often requires a lot of work. Sometimes it seems easier not to deal with them at all and to “focus on ourselves.” Likewise, the wealth of information available online often leads many graduate students and postdocs to believe that they can effectively engage in professional development, explore career options, and navigate next steps on their own. The truth is, there are many amazing online tools and resources that can help with a lot of problems, but it’s only through conversations with others that we can fully understand how various practices, experiences, and careers apply to us as unique beings in the world. Generic advice is great, but it can only be customized through a genuine conversation with another person, although some people believe they can find it in a machine.
Since the launch of ChatGPT in November 2022, generative artificial intelligence (AI) technology has accelerated, and many people now rely on AI chatbots for advice and even companionship. The problem with this approach is that AI chatbots, at least for now, are very sycophantic and don’t challenge the user’s worldview by default. Rather, they can reinforce a person’s current beliefs and biases. Additionally, since we humans tend to anthropomorphize things, we view the output of an AI chatbot as “human” and believe that we are getting the “social” relationships and advice we need from the bot without all the friction that comes with dealing with another human being in real life. So while it may feel easy to outsource your questions to a chatbot, it won’t be able to fully support you in your life and career. Additionally, generative AI makes the job application, screening, and interview process extremely impersonal and inefficient. Recent work atlantic Simply put (if harshly): “The job market is hell.”
Is there any solution to this miserable situation?
I’m here to remind readers of the importance of connecting with real people to help guide your career, job search, and life. Despite the fear of rejection, small talk, or hearing things that may challenge you, engaging with others will help you learn about professional roles that are right for you, discover unexpected opportunities, build important interpersonal skills, and better understand yourself (and how to relate to others) in the process.
For today’s graduate students and postdocs, it’s easy to feel isolated or to spend too much time in their own heads focusing on their perceived mistakes and flaws. However, you need to remember that you are doing hard things, including leading research projects that seek to investigate questions that no one has reported on before. But as you move through your academic life and into the next steps of your career, I encourage you to embrace the fact that true strength and resilience lies in the connections we have with colleagues, mentors, friends, and the communities we build.
Networking enriches your horizons and cultivates adaptability. It not only helps you find a job, but also helps you find happiness and fulfillment at work. Take intentional steps to build and rely on your community during your time as a scholar and beyond. Invest time, be grateful, and be open in your relationships. Because when you deal with life’s challenges in the company of others, you not only survive, you thrive.
Practical tips for building and leveraging your network
For graduate students and postdocs, here are some action steps for building meaningful networks to help you professionally and personally:
Tip 1: Seek diverse connections
Attend seminars, departmental events, professional conferences and interest groups within and outside your field.
Join and participate in online forums, LinkedIn groups, and professional organizations that interest you. Create a career counseling group.
Tip 2: Practice Gratitude and Generosity
Thank colleagues and mentors regularly—expressing gratitude can strengthen relationships, open doors, and create goodwill.
Offer to help, such as reviewing a colleague’s resume, sharing a job lead, or just listening. Reciprocity is the foundation of strong networks.
Tip 3: Stay Vulnerable and Authentic
Share struggles and frustrations. Vulnerability invites others to connect, offer advice, and promote mutual support.
Be honest about your goals; don’t feel pressured to follow a predefined path set by others or social norms.
Tip 4: Leverage formal resources
Attend a career design workshop or online course, such as Stanford University’s “Designing Your Career.”
Utilize university career centers, alumni networks, and faculty advisors for information and introductions.
Tip 5: Make reflection a habit
Set aside time each week or month to review progress, set goals, and consider input from your network.
Use journaling or guided exercises to deepen self-insight and identify what you want from your relationships and career.
Tip 6: Cultivate the virtue of eulogy
Focus not just on the professional “resume virtues” but also on the “eulogy virtues”—kindness, honesty, courage, and the quality of the relationships built.
These provide lasting meaning and foster deep, authentic connections that transcend job titles and paychecks.
Strategies to overcome isolation
Given the demands of research and the solitary nature of academia, graduate students and postdocs are especially at risk for isolation and burnout. Community is a proven antidote. Consider forming a small group with classmates and postdocs to share resources, celebrate milestones, and solve professional challenges together. Regular meetings create motivation and accountability. These can be as simple as a monthly coffee chat, or they can be more structured, such as regular writing or job search support groups. And, while online communities are no perfect substitute for support, postdocs can take advantage of Future PI Slack, and graduate students can use their own Slack communities for help and advice. You can also rely on your network for emotional support and practical help, especially during stressful times or setbacks.
Another practical tip for building networks and connections is to volunteer. This might mean volunteering with a professional organization, a committee at your institution, or in the local community. Working on a shared project with others in this way helps build connections without the challenges that many people face interacting with others in a purely social setting. Additionally, volunteering can help you develop leadership, communication, and management skills that make excellent resume material.
Network and launch your career
By being exposed to more people through an expanded network, you can also be exposed to unexpected opportunities and opportunities that can enhance your overall training and career. Career theorists call this “planned serendipity.” The idea is simple: By surrounding yourself with others—attending lectures, joining professional groups, volunteering on committees—you increase the likelihood of encountering unexpected opportunities. You’ll meet people doing jobs you hadn’t considered, learn about opportunities before they’re posted, and hear about programs that need people with your skills earlier than most.
While I was a postdoc at Vanderbilt University, I volunteered with the National Postdoctoral Association (NPA) and started small by writing articles for their online newsletter (Postdoctoral fellow), and also became increasingly involved in the Vanderbilt Postdoctoral Association (VPA). These experiences served me well as I transitioned from postdoc to postdoctoral affairs work as a higher education administrator. write for Postdoctoral fellow As a postdoc, I was able to interview administrators and leaders in postdoc affairs, and in the process learn about working in the field. My leadership in the VPA demonstrated that I understood some of the needs of the postdoc community and could organize programming to support postdocs. Over the past six years, I have become increasingly involved with NPA, culminating in 2025 as our Board Chair. This work allowed me to increase my national visibility and lead to invitations to speak with postdocs at various institutions and the opportunity to serve on a National Academies roundtable, which I believe helped me land my current position at Virginia Tech.
I share all this to reiterate that in an uncertain job market, it’s easy to focus on polishing your resume or applying for more positions online. These things may be important, but they are not enough. Opportunities often come from expanding your network and engaging with the people and activities we care about. They can reveal themselves to you through your network long before they appear in written form, and they are often not fully anticipated when you first become involved in these “extracurricular activities.” The first step to opening yourself up to possibilities is to get involved in the community outside of your immediate school or work responsibilities. Doing so will increase your sense of purpose, help you develop key transferable skills, increase your connections and help you transition to your next role.
Your training and career should not be a solitary climb, but a collaborative, ever-evolving process of growth and discovery. Strong communities and networks are vital to your long-term well-being and success. And, in a world where setbacks and uncertainty are inevitable, connection is the constant that transforms possibility into progress.
