Dear, we are teachers.
I think that every year, this is the summer when I don’t do anything to school! “Every year, I end up being attracted to PD, agreeing to help with some summer workshops, or saying “yes” to projects I really don’t want to do. How do I stick to this year’s “no school allowed” boundaries?
– The dream of disconnecting
Dear Ministry of Defense,
I love you. I am proud of your self-awareness and care to leave space for yourself this summer. In my opinion, you are talking about these things you “really don’t want to do”. This feeling is important when browsing space this summer.
When I try to ensure boundaries, I use some spells:
- “No, thank you” is a complete sentence.
- I was allowed to refuse.
- If I don’t serve me, it’s not mine.
- I deserve it, worth taking care of.
- Don’t mistake distractions for opportunities.
These spells helped me when I had to refuse. There are also scripts for setting boundaries. A simple “Thank you for your inquiry! I’m not available this summer, but I’m grateful.” You just have to say. No need to prove or make excuses. You deserve your summer!
There are also steps you can take to help you feel stress relief. Set up a vacation email, delete your work email from your phone, and inform people that they will not be available this summer. This preparation makes it unlikely that people will ask you to do something you are not interested in.
Additionally, you can arrange activities that are both productive and rejuvenating. Travel or accommodation? What professional opportunities do you want to do? Engage in other hobbies? Book club? Opportunities for volunteers? Does a job (perhaps a job related to education) bring you joy? One summer I worked at the front desk of a yoga studio to get free classes and I loved it. There is something to look forward to to inspire you to persevere. This will also provide you with a good reason to refuse someone else’s request.
Finally, it may be worth considering Why You keep saying yes. Are you worried that people will be upset if you refuse? Do you just want to make people happy? My therapist calls this a “complete script.” This exercise encourages me to get rid of catastrophicity and do things I don’t want or need to do. If asked or when, it can help you keep your boundaries.
Good luck, I believe in you!
Dear, we are teachers.
How do I deal with qualified parents? I had a disrespectful student, so they lost the fun activities of the day and their parents followed me. This has happened lately, and my parents attacked me in terms of consequences and decisions. I felt overwhelmed and sad, and I seriously considered giving up. How can I handle it and stay motivated?
– The dilemma of disgust
Dear APW,
It’s so bad. It never feels good when parents convey messages in their anger.
For this particular situation, you can stick to your decision as kindly as possible. If your government or other teachers support these consequences, I will also include them in the conversation. You can forward the information to them and ask them for their thoughts on how to respond, or solicit their thoughts in the response. Verify parents’ frustrations – It’s hard to see your child feel sad! The consequences are for a reason, and it is because parents get angry and destroy the consequences and take responsibility, which is detrimental to them.
In the future, consider how to communicate the consequences to your family. Would you give out a syllabus, family letters or anything outlining your class behavior plan? If that is not the case, it may help in the future at the beginning of this year. It can help mitigate some of these conflicts when families know what to expect.
Since this issue seems to be ongoing, it may be worth contacting your principal or trusted colleague for further guidance. Are you probably missing something? Have you not seen another source of this conflict?
Finally, based on age and activities, I want to gently ask you to reflect on the value of keeping your child away from certain “fun activities.” Research shows that the external motivation of behavior is actually not helpful (I solved this in the second question and answered here). Therefore, while a student’s behavior undermines the safety of others, it is understandably required not to participate, telling a talkative child that they cannot have fun will do more harm than good. Just something to consider.
Dear, we are teachers.
I’ve been a replacement teacher for a year, but next year I’ll have my own classroom for the first time. I was excited, but I was nervous, too, because I was going to teach unfamiliar grade levels in a new field. The region seems to support it, but it’s still a big change. What advice do you have for new teachers?
– From sub to first release
Dear fsts,
Congratulations! What an exciting new adventure you are on! Yes, it’s a big change, but the fact that you have some experience and excitement is a good first step.
Actually, I know the entire starter about the new teacher, which will help you as you start your journey. You may also like some books.
This summer, you can start slowly preparing for next year. Some questions you can think of in your plan:
- What questions do you have to do with the principal before you start? Consider logistics: bathrooms, keys, field trips, days off, and more.
- Have you done all the necessary paperwork?
- How do you want your classroom to look? What do you want the atmosphere to be?
- How do you want to build classroom routines and procedures?
- Can you connect with anyone you work with whom you can support you?
- What do you want the overall scope and order of your semester or year?
These are just some basic questions to begin with. As a first-grade teacher, the overall advice I need to hear: Take everything at a time. Being a new teacher can sometimes feel overwhelmed, but every day is a new beginning.
Good luck, I believe in you!
Do you have a burning problem? Send us an email at AskWeareTeachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear, we are teachers.
I’m struggling. The other day, when I was deflated in the car, another child in the back seat pointed at me and said, “Look, mom! A witch!” (To be fair, I was wearing the linen costume I used to teach “Strega nona.”) But I hate this time of year when I struggled so hard in basic self-care: getting enough sleep, handling stress, and juggling the million-date year-end activities that teachers need. What can I do to strike not drain my stress further?
– Abandon some self-care
