Ideas for building relationships (opinions)

As Subini Annamma and David Stovall wrote in a February article, “when colleges remain silent or show their willingness to comply with the attempt to make anyone who is not white, male and cisgender seek executive orders, they are sending messages.”
We believe that in the higher education system, we are all sending messages at the personal and collective level, at the moment in which we act or are not behaviour. The past few months have been a chaotic period to quickly shoot executive orders, threats to college and university funding, and presidential orders that undermine basic values of higher education. The ongoing administrative actions and the whiplash of judicial reversals are unstoppable, and the ground has been shaking under our feet.
Consistent with the traumatic experience (when the event occurs faster than we can cope), some of us may be experiencing a traumatic response, an instinctive response to the perceived threat. Most of us have heard of combat or flight modes, but it seems to be a response to the role that Fawn and Freezing play in many agencies across the country. Faced with the threat of federal funding to universities, candid responses in higher education are manifested in the form of expected compliance. The office of diversity, equity and inclusion is abandoned in the blink of an eye.
We also see some colleagues struggling with the task of modifying job descriptions and scrubbing agency websites while trying to support the most risky colleagues. Many of us don’t know what to do. We feel uneasy and fearful, we are just trying to do it every day.
Despite what’s going on around us, we have to continue to participate in our work – doing all the things that make the institution work, maintain relationships with colleagues, and joining our students in the classroom space. We might ask ourselves how we show up in meaningful ways when our world catches fire, or how we move forward when we feel so powerless.
But what do we think about our commitment to the basic commitment to education, namely, free exchange of ideas and academic freedom, belief in science and innovation, and especially our commitment to our access, diversity and equity, which we know will enhance everyone’s learning experience? Are these things that attract us to education in the first place?
This moment is calling us back to our basic purpose – a deep relationship with students, an excitement of new ideas and a sense of freedom brought by the creation of knowledge from the context of the community. Now it’s time to start working, reclaim space, and stand up. We can’t wait for others to save us: we must save ourselves. We do this through deep relationships within a community context. As we learn from Bell Hooks, Audre Lorde, Paulo Freire and Kimberlé Crenshaw, relationships will be our resistance.
Relationships are not only sensitive results of secure learning spaces: they are the basis. What better actions can we do to protect ourselves and our communities from harm, rather than strengthening the foundation through this moment, and what will happen in the future? Fortunately for all of us, whether you are an educator or an institution leader, they have always prioritized relationships or want to strengthen your community because of the rumble of higher education and milkshakes, relatively small efforts (perhaps everything we can call together) can benefit far-reachingly.
There are countless great ways to foster belonging, build a space of brave conversation and listen deeply to others, and in fact, we may fit in more here. What we offer are some practical ways to develop and maintain ethical care and relationship responsibility. We hope this is an easy way to inspire you to party with others, or allow you to explore your own ideas to slow down the pace of relationship building. What we are sharing here is not new ideas, but may have been forgotten.
The following products cover many cultures and over time, communities practice in one form or another to deal with oppressive regimes around the world. We just need to recall the wisdom of our ancestors and adopt some public resistance strategies. They make sense to the world, sad, resist and find joy. So, we must.
Pay attention and name
“I believe it is our responsibility to establish ways of understanding political and historical reality, thus creating the possibility of change. I think this is our role, to develop the way we work, which is rare and oppressed can reveal its reality.” – Paulo Freire
We can’t pretend that what’s going on in the world doesn’t affect us, our students, or their learning. Perception and real threats of harm hinder learning and development. We give ourselves and our students a way to get along with it when we pay attention and name what is happening. When we name fear and acknowledge uncertainty, we release some tensions and welcome all the experiences of participants. This may involve nodding the coordinator-led political climate, everything they hold in their minds, meditation moments or two-minute diary activities, students reflect on what they need to let go in order to work in the classroom. These technologies are equally helpful in meetings and other faculty and staff convening.
In “Diversity of Location”, you can expect a wide variety of pressing issues in the online environment, and you can use or adjust this confirmation statement developed by Emareena Danielles and Deborah Kronenberg for the Podlive series about amenities.
Play: Shortcuts for Joy and Laughing
Games and laughter are part of our ancestral language, the way our bodies exist. They exist in every culture to help us, nourish us, and make us more fully human. When was the last time you used your body, voice, or language in a new way? How do you make room at the start of any group work or class, teacher development workshop or community meeting? As easy as making sounds and movements, painting with non-dominant hands, adapting childhood games to collective goals, or having timid conversations, then the small and stupid risk will lead to a room of laughter (virtual or otherwise).
The collective release of emotions through the game creates a community that hopes to mine work in a joyful and open manner, and provides us with a point of reference for when to take risks, accompany flow and implement resilience. For a good resource, Beyond the Icebreaker Written by Stanley Pollack of Mary Fusoni, there are not only many games that can be tried out for facilitators to use the game as a metaphor for future work. You may also want to check out the professors on play for more in-depth discourse.
Tell a story
“We tell stories because we are humans. But we also become more human because we tell stories. When we do, we use the ancient powers that make us and the world more world-wide: a competition to find reasons, seek purpose, seek purpose, seek ourselves.” – Amanda Gorman
Storytelling is a tradition that transcends culture and community and helps us create meaning in experiences. There is nothing to connect between two people, preferring to share real stories from their own experiences and to create the meaning of ideas together. A pair of short storytelling activities or a complete story circle process can attract us all as a whole, pulling more into the room. The story activates our deep listening skills, builds real connections, and reminds us why we do this work at this moment.
Gather together
“I see over and over again, the connection that adjusts to bring our system into our system and the ability to gain access to individuals, relationships and public power.” – Adrienne Maree Brown, Pleasant Actionism
It’s easy to separate when we’re exhausted and overwhelmed. But as news headlines continue to put us in constant frustration and tension, we have the option to evacuate from our screen as a means of resistance as a conscious choice to be our entire self and with others. Whether it’s through synchronized movie nights, local sewing circles or open microphones, we can build our relationships and positively influence the effectiveness of our community. At the University Without Boundaries, students, faculty and faculty break down bread into our beautiful community before academia begins and start our in-person courses. But as long as you can do it, and know that you are generating power by doing it.
Self-care
As relationship facilitators, learning, change makers, we must also take care of ourselves. Here, we are not talking about the luxury of indulging in the hot spring day. What we are talking about is to be careful, slow down, and expressing productivity cannot be used as an indicator of self-worth. We can also take care of ourselves by connecting with our peers in and outside the field of education. We can prioritize our own happiness, but come and know that the rest of us are also resistant (see Tricia Hersey’s work).
Now there is a need to resist, and there are many forms of kindness. It may appear in parades and protests, but it can also be found when we discover places where we control and reclaim our own agencies. Our amenities for space build a sense of agency for students, employees and our own sense of solidarity.
The antidote of oppression can be found in these glimpses of liberation, and in the space we are not afraid of, a more just world can be imagined. In this case, we also build our reserves for our journeys seeking to show future.
If we can take a moment to stay away from chat, and the bombardment of headlines designed to cause chaos, we can take advantage of our collective history and remember: we know what to do. Let us recognize all the work we are already doing, that is, to date, maintain our embedded relationship building. Let’s continue to do the work that brings us to these educational spaces. The relationship work we cultivate is the cornerstone of the world we need to create together.