Relationship Repair Tips Every Adult Should Learn to Help Children Live
“You know weeds will grow in the garden, so if you want to have a good garden and regularly scan the weeds and pull them out where they exist, you just need to be aware of that.”
Repair down to three simple steps.
Pay attention to when repair is needed
Stewart said that when the student’s influence changes, this can often be the first sign of a broken relationship. Some examples are if the student who is usually out with you has become more withdrawn, or the student who often greets you at the beginning of the class will no longer greet you.
Teachers must be aware of and pay attention to changes in students’ behavior or emotional state.
Solve directly and talk to students
The next step is to resolve potential conflicts by talking directly with students, Stewart said.
He suggested that students could be pulled briefly into the corridor or work independently. The teacher can point out the changes in the students and ask, “Do I know what should I know?” and “Have I done anything that causes this change?”
Acknowledging that there may be problems can help fix the relationship.
“Proposing this is…the share of the lion’s work for maintenance,” Stewart said. “I found that in many cases it would help to address the change and ask me if I do anything.”
Take responsibility and talk about what you can do next time
The third step is to make teachers acknowledge whether they have done something that has caused damage.
“Teacher, we are not perfect,” Stewart said.
Be self-aware and reflect on whether to speak too harshly or speak in a way that causes embarrassment. According to Stewart, it sounds like: “Yesterday, I corrected the task behavior I saw, but I just felt bad about the way I did it and I want to say sorry.”
Stewart said these three steps require minimal work and can provide a more pleasant learning environment for teachers and students.
“I never wanted to be…best friend or be the best teacher my student has ever had, but I just wanted to promote a pleasant, productive experience,” he said.
Establish maintenance directors
Clay Cook said most educators believe in the power of relationships, but traditionally, schools have no common language or specialized practices that intentionally cultivate these connections.
This led to Cook designing a school support called “Building Maintenance Houses” (EMR), frameworks and practice educators can adopt and implement in the classroom. Cook is the chief development officer of EMR’s organizational training teacher role Strong, which promotes healthy relationships by building connections, maintaining those connections and restoring connections in case of damages.
Science shows that over time, any relationship — whether it is a couple — can get worse with their employer and their students and their students, especially when the parties involved don’t work hard to maintain that relationship.
“Misunderstandings, conflicts, differences…those things can hurt relationships,” Cook said. “So, there needs to be intentional repairs and fixes on the backend.”
According to Cook, the EMR method encourages teachers to conduct intentional relationship reflection. Teachers fill out reflection forms to determine which students are “established”, which means that such relationships still need to be established. Students in “maintenance” mean that there is a relationship, but it needs to be cultivated. Those in “recovery” mean that teachers need to repair relationships with these students.
These four skilled communication techniques can be helpful in repair conversations, Cook said:
open
He said young people often think that adults suffer resentment after doing something, and these things are for them.
“When you look, a lot of adults Do Stick to what students say or do in the environment, they don’t let go. ” Cook said.
He said letting go of conversations requires real and real, so that students believe what you are saying.
Ownership
When adults have ownership, young people respond well, Cook said. Teachers who acknowledge that they cause conflict or disagreement show that: “They are not in the soap box and require any interaction between two people.”
He said it was not to blame the sole responsibility or to blame one person with another.
Win-win
Cook said it is also important to improve relationships during repairs.
“We… want to say, ‘Hey, no matter what happens, this doesn’t work for both parties. I think we can fuse our brains together and come up with a way that doesn’t repeat. [this conflict] In the future,” he said.
This way, students can share their feelings and ideas about how to move forward and become part of the solution. Teachers can also follow up on their perspectives and provide solutions.
Separate the contract from the actors
Many young people think that adults don’t care about them and are not defining their behavior, Cook said.
When separating the “contract” from the “actor”, the teacher lets students know that they have inherent value and redeemable qualities and that their behavior does not define who they are.
“We will still hold students accountable for this behavior, but we don’t want students to forget … who they are,” Cook said. He added in education that it’s not only about building a bond, but about quality These connections.
